Risking It All

it pains you
more than birth or death
folds you in a box
in the dark in the light

beaming, hazing
it elates and disheartens
brings you to tears
it charms, it pleases
makes and breaks
and reels and spins

it’s a top
a pendulum
a perpetual dance
to a beating drum in my ears

you want it to stop
but it’s vital like air
and you know in the end
you'll be wanting or sated
but you say to yourself
it’s a risk that’s worth taking.

Captive

Since I didn't blog today...

At my lowest

you found me.

broken.

Wrapped arms of steel

around me.

captive.

Stifled by fear,

leaden wings.

flightless.

A captive bird

no longer sings.

silenced.

me

I comb my hair

intently

with purpose

Ensuring

every strand

is neatly in place.

My teeth are brushed

up and down

up and down

Bright shiny pearls

Open wide, look inside

I paint on my eyelids,

my cheeks,

my smile,

like a doll

come down off the shelf.

I put on my sweater,

my skirt,

my stockings

look down

check myself out.

what do you think?

Are you pleased?

Do I fit into

Your image

Of me?

Am I smiling enough?

Am I happy?

Appealing?

The answer’s no matter

Because what you see

Is not what I am

Not me.

Abandoned

Pen to paper

Left unread

Only ink,

Words,

the alabaster page.

Spoken words

Heard only

By the moon

and stars

and the blanket of night.

Arms reach out

Left unfilled

Grasp air

and wind

and empty spaces

Solitude

There’s only me

My breath

My beating heart

Nothing more.